How Sjava’s Isibuko helped me fight my demons

 

Anxiety has a cure, well that’s what I thought until I realized that I unfortunately cannot overcome my demons without the influence of music, hence most of time, I say KingKani is the best when it comes to healing me because whenever he raps or touches base on an expression of social or political, I always parade with whatever he touches base on. That’s how I felt after listening to Sjava’s Isibuko because that album took me to a journey of self-introspection and discovery while it remained rooted in what advances the sober mind. When I was still at school, I used to blame a lot of people for quitting their jobs without a valid reason, well I had no idea of why they would quit their jobs especially to a renowned  restaurant like KFC until I managed to fit myself and work in a place that is not healthy for me and normally challenges the best of me while I refuse to shed the skin of the best of me because that’s who I am, actually. While listening to Sjava’s Isibuko, I was often in a journey of self discovery and introspection because I was trying to find my feet and who I am and that’s in the nature of humans.

Whenever anxiety attacks me, I always try my best not to show that now I am stressed or there’s something going on with me and that’s what attacks my mentality most of the time because I am one person who refuses to be open with his problems, I mostly confesses to those who kind of know me and know the depth of me. Hence, I use Hubbly as an escape gate because I refuse to be sad though the situation parades me to succumb to it but still, I refuse to be that person and I normally write long paragraphs on facebook when Anxiety strikes because I use the smartness of my words as something to heal me. That’s when I started to resort to Sjava’s Isibuko because it overshadows the pain within me and often puts me forward not to lose my mind, not because of an unfortunate situation but because I live for a purpose. A purpose that graduates my knowledge, whether it’d be in the form of a blog or an article because I refer what I wrote on Music & Life as an article because what I wrote on Music & Life impressed the reader, not me. After I departed from my previous work, I was stressed a lot because I was like fuck? How am I going to take care of my personal needs because they mostly need finances in order to take for them, However, in order to take care of mentality and physicality while I make sure I strive to remain rooted in what advances the sober mind, I had to make that choice of which was to leave my previous job and go on hunting jobs. Unfortunately, when you stay in a small town like Villiersdorp, you are expected to work even in farms while it occupies most of your emotions and destroys them at a younger age and I escaped that from the first shot. With Isibuko, it reminds me of the decisions I take for my life and those around me because if that decision does not consider the health of being then I am going left in life and that’s not how I perceive my future life though those around me fail to understand why I make such stupid decisions ( stupid to them but to me, I consider my well being when I make such decisions).

 

There was a day ( I think, it was Thursday or Friday last week because I had blogs to publish on that day but failed to publish them because anxiety had me eating on the palm of its hand) where I felt like I’m useless in life, I am working on things that strives to add no value in my life, financially and that day, I made a decision to depart from Music & Life because it failed to add value in my life, financially and that was anxiety and depression talking there though I was the one texting it, physically. After I made a drastic decision, I had to listen to something that would curb my anxiety and depression because I usually refuse to accept it to defeat me because when you allow it to defeat you, there’s a price to pay for that and that’s suicide to rope you into death. That was the first demon Isibuko helped me to overcome and one thing I love about the album, it transcends every unfortunate incident of my life whether it’s be in the journey of spirituality or ancestral ( but that’s not the demon I want to touch base on) and now depression and anxiety. An expression of my dream hopes for me to take a leap while hoping someone would catch me whenever anxiety or depression attacks me and that’s the promise we tell each other when we want to use another human being.

 

After listening to Isibuko, I had to know for sure whether I want to continue writing blogs or leave the sphere of blogging alone through my dream lies within that. I now wish to grow and become the brilliant and smart blogger I keep wishing I am. I wish to never feel the need to listen to KingKani or Sjava’s Isibuko whenever my spirit tends to throw me in wolves.